Recruiters = Estate Agents

An observation - In times of recession, recruiters seem to have a inverse relationship to Estate Agents but end up being the same..

In good times, Estate Agents treat everyone with a certain amount of contempt, to buyers they are god and to sellers they suck up and this changes when then markets crash and their commissions are gone.  The Recruiter on the other hand treats his/her clients with contempt in times of recession as they seem to act as the gatekeeper to that fabled job.  

Are they all scum?

At Last

Sorry for the radio silence. I may have a job offer.  What do I feel? Elated, pleased and a sense of acheivement and also.. a little bitter.  The pressures of society. Its expectations.  Someone seen as useless is thrown out of the hive.

First morning after I lost my job, I cried. A grown man cry. When you realise you have nowhere to go. The bitterly cold winter months when I was home alone, I could have cried. Trying to keep warm and busy. It was the loneliest time in my life. Was it the bottom? Perhaps.

Whats the lesson - sounds glib BUT one must have more to life than just work and its trappings. 

More to come.

You are fired!

This in today's Guardian made me laugh - what ever next?

Employers are increasingly using drug testing to get rid of staff without having to make redundancy payouts, as a way of cutting costs during the recession, a charity has said.

Interviews

They say the first 10 seconds seal it.

Shave the beard.  Check for grey hairs. Choose a plain white shirt, navy suit, sober tie, neutral cufflinks. Polish shoes.

Spend 2 days preparing for an interview.  Reading, researching, re-reading CV. Try to neutralise ones fears, hopes and expectations. Decision made in 10 seconds.

Interview

Yayy.. not one but two. But I have been here before and bitterly disappointed. Still I have to prepare for it and give it my best.

Sometimes some employers only want to see an external to tick all the boxes, only to give the job to a mate's mate.  But you see they have followed the process.

Is all fair in love, war and the workplace?

Naming and Shaming

• Which little Indian Chubster from 752 Solutions does not bother returning your emails or phone calls?
• Which Aussie/Kiwi (head dipped in an Oil slick) at Joslin Rowe hides advertised jobs from you and then tells you to look on the Internet?

More to come.  Why don't you add yours on here?

The recruitment Game - Ploy No 2

They call out of the blue.. tell you they have seen your CV on a website, they have a great role but of course they can't tell you the client's name BUT they do need to know if you are interviewing.  Well yes.. I am.  Then they ask who with.. I was already a little wary and they would insist, so I would tell the bank's name.. and they would say "ahhh" .. intimating it may be that very bank. 

Then they want to know names of the people you saw.. this is a common trick to try and find out what live roles exist out there. 

Yes, one barrow boy Oik was so thick that he called back the next day to try and find out the spelling of my interviewer.  I hung up.

The Recruitment Game - Ploy No 1

Recuiter posts a job, waits for CVs and applications to roll in (some people cn spend at least an hour preparing their CV and writing their covering letters), then he or she calls the chosen few and tells them the following:

•  that job advertised is filled
  
• but they have another one they could send your cv to
• or that they want to keep you cv on their database

.. for what??? 

Yes you guessed it - the job never existed.  They were trawling for CVs to use in future as fillers.

Recruiters beware - you shall be named and shamed.

Sunday nights

Its a strange time Sunday night.  Everyone rushing home early, to be ready for work.  I too head home after an early dinner with friends.  To the Sunday papers.  For the weekend I was back amongst the land of the living.  

I resolve to wake up with the working masses and be at my PC by 9am. Routines.  Like being back at the hive, except I can work on my own ideas.  

Taxation vs Benefits

Despite working in the City, a friend said that I was a socialist at heart.  Made me laugh, Me who loves turning left on boarding a flight?

So I have paid taxes like a good boy for about 13 years. Never took much from the state since I started work.  Most City institutions include Medical benefits, gym memberships etc.  

I figure Taxation exists for the greater good of society for a number of reasons - schools, hospitals, and so on.  Above all, something that sets us apart from the 3rd world is provision of benefits.  For the needy in society.  No - the members of the Cabinet  (that bunch of Hoons) don't count.  I would like that toilet seat Mr Prescott.

My middle class guilt tells me not to claim benefits whilst I still have savings. Perhaps I am a quasi-socialist? 

Saturday Morning Run

This used to be a ritual when I used to work.  Up early (well by 9am) and a 40 minute jog.  Now its an effort.  Still can't turn to seed. So on come the trainers.

I scan the faces I jog past.  Try to scrutinise them.  Who is in my position?  Can they tell?  That I am not one of the them.  That I am a fraud amongst the land of the living workers.

Maybe by the fact that I have not shaved for a week now tells strangers all the need to know.  One of my mate's tells me its fetching in a Clooney sort of way.

Working Class Done good gone bad

I am down this evening.  It was meant to be a nice evening but not what it turned out to be.  An introspective one.

Mum and Dad always drilled it into me to be independent, to work for those grades and that degree and finally that job.  Now thats gone. Its hurts to rely on others.  Yes its pride and I have been generous to others in my time but when the tables are turned, I am embarassed.  

I know its not a handout, I should take it in the spirit it was intended. But my independence is gone and it feels like I am being reminded of it all the time.  It lurks in the background when ever someone says "don't worry about the bill - let us take care of it".

Credit Card Statements

To be avoided like Swine Flu.  Still it had to be opened.  Looked at the balance outstanding.  

Total result and relief - £0.  Paying by cash is good.  Except I am running out of that fast. 

Ants (but not in pants)

Things you notice when you are home.  Ants. Finally solved the mystery of whence they came from. Rose pots outside the French window. Infested.  

Went to Garden Centre - via Pain Quotidien - full scale hissy fit between Eastern European and French waitress.  Amusing.  Miss these at work.

Armed with Ant Bait, I lay the traps wondering if its right.  They are also little industrious buggers, working hard to keep their community going, much like the City. Here I am acting all Alastair Darling by killing them off.

*sigh*.

More observations

Buses are busy. More taxis roaming around empty. Except when you need them. Somethings never change.

Sent from my iPhone

Waking up

Sometimes a very hard thing to do when there isn't a 8.30 desk and hot Cap waiting for you.   But today, i am off to do Charity work. 

The morning after - I am wondering if I should have spent so much on dinner last night.  Guilt gets you sometimes.  Is it justified to buy Monkfish from the counter when plastic packaged Cod would have been a cheaper substitute?

Observations of a Sad Banker

In no particular order:

• Lot more dads taking their children to school in the mornings*
• I have saved £300 so far in not buying my morning and post lunch cappucinos at work
• Lots of "mid-season" sales in the clothes and shoe shops

* A friend once told me that lots of marriages are broken and made at the school gate.  Is anyone compiling stats on this during the current recession?

Another Phone Call

"Hello, is that xxxx?"

Well who else was it going to be. " Yes this is xxxx" - I reply putting on my "happy to be speaking to a recruiter voice".

Yep as suspected the job is not live. Why is he calling me?  Is he just gathering CVs to send?  Will this result in an interview? Or will it just go to another internal candidate?  Yet he wants me to amend my CV to suit this mythical job.  I spend 45minutes doing so.

I email the other recruiters for updates.  I don't have the will power to call them.  After 5 months something has disappeared in me.

I look out of the window.  Pale sunshine, leaves unfurling slowly as spring warms them.  Time to hit the gym.

Heavy heart

Today, I cancelled the standing orders to the two charities I supported.  Simple maths tell me that is about £300 a year. 

Not a lot it would seem to educate one little girl and prevent animals from being abused. Its been 5 months since I last saw a wage slip.  I essentially am living on my savings yet why do I feel guilty?

Conversations in a pub

"So have you been trying hard?"

As modern metrosexual men, we have a glass of Pinot Grigio in our hands.

I could tell him I have made over 70 applications, countless phone calls and had 5 interviews.

But instead wryly I tell him " What do you think?"

This is my story.  One redundant worker banker's search for a job.